Is there anything to look out for if I want to develop a set of tools to monitor my mother who has dementia. I wanna monitor her preferably using my Android phone via a LORA tracker. I got this https://www.tindie.com/products/lilygo/lilygottgo-t-impulse-wristband-lora-868mhz/ from Lilygo after asking them for a recommendation. I’m a coder but I have never done any hardware before, not to mention LORA. I’m from Singapore and I got the 915Mhz version. Any advice or help will be great! Thanks!
My mother has dementia and has eloped from her home, and gone missing for hours, and with serious injuries. She is now living in a secure residence. fLORA devises could work, but I think that keeping them safe at home is the priority. Home Assistant could be a inexpensive way to set up a network of sensors to alert you to dangerous situations.
There are many zigbee and esp32 sensors that can be automated to send alerts. Presence, motion , door alarms, cameras etc…not to mention cameras. GPS trackers might work also. But the have to wear them 24/7 and not lose them, My mother was constantly losing or hidng various items .
And finally , once you think that every thing is figured out, their disease enters another stage.
Thanks! Will look into what you have suggested! Hope things are more manageable for you now. Have a gd wk.
Thanks for your “kind” feedback.
I was kinda hoping you wouldn’t reply… cos it would make me an ass if I didn’t reply to you after you replied… not that it was not worth replying to but I rather spend time on my own startup as that is moving at a snail’s pace and I’m way WAY behind time… You should know as well as most of the time is spent on taking care of them and work and whatever that is left is what you can use for your own stuff on most days… anyway here goes… sorry for the super duper long message … took me nearly 2hours
"No tech. can solve this problem which is inside the head.
The best way is to move in with the patient. The anxiety that comes from dementia is very traumatic for the parent.
The brain brings forward troubling and maybe violent memories from the past that they have forgotten the cause of and the memories of coping skills are long gone.
What they need is a familiar and trusting face and voice around to smooth out the rocky path to normality.
But are we prepared to give up our independence to take away their stress. I think not"
This is what you had previously written, yes? Don’t know why you took it down but I think anyone and I mean ANYONE could see or even make an educated guess after reading it that you must have gone through or if not, have some experience with dementia. And I assumed that you must have done what I did as well which is why you said the things you said.
Now for most part of the message, to let those who have had no experience with dementia (and I pray you never do), let me use the following description to give you a more visual scene / experience… (I heard the following from somewhere… I had gone through and am still going through so many videos, articles and sites I forgot where or who was it from so lemme know if it is you all right so I can credit you )
Dementia is like you seeing a picture that you love, with all the beautiful as well as not beautiful parts that you can see and appreciate… and you see them becoming undone… piece by piece, right in front of you and there is nothing, absolutely NOTHING that you can do…
So trust me when I say the feeling will break you… every time you see one part gone… I’m going through it now and my mum is only in the beginning phase…
Now, back to your message. The part that irks me is your last sentence, “But are we prepared to give up our independence to take away their stress. I think not”. To be clear, I am not comparing our situations or saying that my situation is worse than you… Come on, we are adults, we don’t do that. Besides, trust me when I say there is always someone out there that has it worse than me and you, guaranteed (the current war and the current situation in Turkiye for example).
ANYWAY, in case I digress as I do that quite often, since the day she was diagnosed 2 years ago, I took a pay cut to work from home (thanks to my boss for agreeing to this), so I have been with her everyday and I mean EVERYDAY. I have met up with a few close friends a couple of times and a few business meetups as well and every time I will bring her along.
Firstly, just to let you know, I’m Chinese and in our culture, there is a phrase that goes " 百善孝为先 blah blah blah". This first part roughly translates to “if you list out 100 good deeds that you can do, filial piety comes 1st”. For us, usually we do not move out until we are married so I’ve been staying with my parents this entire time. So now, with her condition, I’m literally with her 24/7. I did think of bringing her to a daycare but she is quite dependent on me so I’m hesitant on that. Of cos I am not doing activities with her all the time (like those daycare centers can) but I try to make the life as normal for her as possible (So now you know why I want to find out more about the tech as there are times when we go to the mall that she usually goes to and in case anything happens, I just wanna know I have another way of tracking her).
So now, from my point of view, can you see why I was irked by your message? I mean I knew / guessed you have had experience with dementia but I feel that you wanted to share your experience but in the end you just decided to give the debrief of it to save everyone’s time. Now, I am not against this but I didn’t expect this (the last sentence) as you know, this being a tech site and all, I was hoping to get more info instead of this debrief. I shared the reason why I was doing this just to let anyone replying know the reason and maybe they could suggest more info or other tech to look at for my scenario.
So now you know why I replied the way I did (my reply “Thanks for your “kind” feedback”). I wanted to let you know that I do appreciate your reply, but the your message, or rather mainly the last sentence kinda leave a bad taste in my mouth… you know what I mean? I mean, another person might say “I did give up everything to take care of her so what does your last sentence mean?” On the flip side, another person might say “I was not able to do that as I am married / (other scenarios that you can think of )”. It’s not really helpful you know?
Now, I hope you can see my point of view… I am not trying to make enemies here or win this reply… come on, there are no winners in this scenario… I’m just trying to let you know that if and when possible, please do be kind as words can’t really be unspoken…
AND IF in case I am wrong about the meaning of your message, I DO SINCERELY apologize for this reply… Again, I want to let you know I am not trying to make enemies but just trying to show you my point of view that’s all…
Lastly, I think you will know but in case you don’t, we have a chance, or rather a higher chance of getting dementia as well… so please do take care of yourself and your loved ones ok? Hope you have a good day pmfoundations!
NOTE: Lastly, to anyone reading this, this song is something I found while going through the videos… It describes some of the things a dementia person goes through… Chris Mann - Remember Me (An Anthem for Alzheimer's Disease) - YouTube (I really do hope no one else goes through this)
Hope everyone reading this has a good week!